I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
