Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The air was thick with penises
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
