Small penises have feelings too.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
How naked do you want me to be?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
