So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
