Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
