Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
