Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
