at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
