I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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