the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
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