Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
