you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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