i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
