You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
