No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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