I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
