True but thats because hes a fetus.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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