My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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