True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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