sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
