we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
