I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize