All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Only a mothe r could love this liver
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
