about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
