i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Houston, we have a blender
Every concussion has its silver lining
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize