He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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