Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
