people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
