so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
