Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
