After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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