i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize