Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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