covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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