it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you traded sex for a burrito?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
the night ended with taco bell and tears
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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