Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
And my parents said I crawled through the house
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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