super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
