no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
