So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
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