I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
