Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
