You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
