Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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