Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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