You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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