so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
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