Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
