ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
