First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
whose ass print is on the piano?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
