Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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