im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
please come you make the beer taste better
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
