that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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