'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He did a backflip because drugs
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