you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
