i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
