Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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