A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
