Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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