And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
