Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
